Wintering Well: Men’s Mental Health, Counselling, and the Wisdom of Chinese Medicine

By Stephen Pate – Psychotherapist/Chinese Medicine Practitioner

After a summer and autumn that stretched well into May, Melbourne has finally succumbed to winter, bringing with it darker days, longer nights, cold, and welcome rain for the Peninsula. Chinese Medicine encourages us to prioritise rest, reflection, and restoration during this season. Yet for many, these colder months can quietly intensify feelings of isolation, low mood, and hopelessness. In the wake of several high-profile male athletes losing their lives to suicide, a larger conversation is needed about how men of all ages are expressing their feelings and coping with the pressures of modern life.

While this piece focuses on men’s mental health—given the cultural pressures many men face around emotional expression, the reflections may resonate with anyone experiencing seasonal fatigue, isolation, or emotional overwhelm.

Psychotherapy provides a space to unpack the unspoken. For men in particular, societal norms around stoicism and self-reliance can make vulnerability feel risky or even shameful. There must be room not only for the acceptance of uncomfortable emotions and safe emotional expression, but also compassion, for the moments when silence is finally broken and expression begins. Psychotherapy isn’t about fixing something that is broken; it’s about creating space and offering compassion, both from others and from within ourselves, for emotions that are deeply human.

From a Chinese Medicine perspective, the season of winter offers important insight into our inner emotional landscape. Winter corresponds to the Water element, which governs the Kidneys and is associated with fear, endurance, and our inner willpower or Zhi. It teaches us that strength isn’t always about pushing forward, it can also be about holding still, conserving energy, and turning inward. Just as nature pauses and restores itself in winter, we too are invited to slow down and reconnect with what lies beneath the surface. For those navigating silent struggles, this seasonal wisdom reminds us that stillness, gentleness, and reflection are not signs of weakness, but powerful and necessary acts of resilience.

As practitioners, friends, and family members, we can support men by offering spaces where they can soften, speak, and feel safe. Whether it's an in-person session at the clinic, a quiet cup of tea, a walk in gentle company, or reaching out with a phone call or text, what we learned through lockdown and isolation remains true: connection is key to navigating despair.

Take the Next Step If you or someone you know could benefit from support this season, consider booking a session at our clinic. We now offer both Psychotherapy and Counselling services tailored to individual needs. To make an appointment or inquire further, please contact us at 5973 4116 or email peninsulanaturalmedicine@gmail.com. We also offer a free 15-minute consultation to explore whether we might be a good fit to work together.

Immediate Support Services If you are in crisis or need immediate assistance, the following services are available 24/7: Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 – Crisis support and suicide prevention Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 – Support for anxiety, depression, and related concerns MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 – Support for men with emotional and relationship issues Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 – Professional 24/7 telephone and online counselling Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 – Support for young people aged 5 to 25 13YARN: 13 92 76 – Support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people